I actually promised myself that I’d never get this personal on my WoW blog (that’s what my personal blog is for, after all), because it’s a WoW blog, and I want a happy little space on the internet. Trouble is, I feel that I should tell you what’s going on at the moment.
The thing is, I wouldn’t even say I’ve had a bad life. My mum left my dad for another man I never really liked (though these days I think I prefer him to her, that’s beside the point) when I was 7, sure it sucked a bit at the time but hey, I was 7, I’m 21 now, that’s quite a lot of time to get over it. Sure, my dad has had money troubles trying to find a job that would mean he could work decent hours to look after me and also afford to live, he ended up on a paid by commission job for a while which wasn’t brilliant, but I’ve lived in the same house my entire life, and even then I would have been about 10 and didn’t really know what was going on. Okay, so it sucked a bit when I realised that my mum wasn’t really bothering with me after a few years, she’d had 3 other kids she was always busy with and I always had to call her and visit her, there was never any contact from her side, long story short, I don’t get on with her too well these days.
What I’m getting at though, is sure I’ve had a couple of hardships in my life while growing up, but nothing particularly crippling as far as I can see. So I don’t particularly understand where this depression came from. The past 3 ((jesus has it really been that long?)) years, I’ve really struggled. My then boyfriend went to university and left me, I struggled to get a job, and things just went downhill. It caused some pretty hefty problems with anxiety (and a nice little car bump while I was on the medication.. came off those, I’m a driver, didn’t feel safe being that tired all the time) and stuff’s just been a bit shit.
So yeah, I like to pretend all is fine and be as cheerful as I can be, because even if I’m not, even if I’m just pretending, it still makes me feel better. And you have no idea just how good both my dad and Dan have been to me the past couple of years, I swear to God they are probably the 2 most amazing people in my life .. heck they put up with enough, ha. Ugh, sorry, sentiment. See, I’m not the only one who has been having trouble finding work. Dan has struggled too, and we just want to get our life started, you know?
Basically, it’s got to the point where I need to put ads on my blog. I know some of you are against ads, and I will try my hardest to keep them clean, but I really hope you understand why I’m having to do this.
Aaand back to the regular not-so-scheduled posting soon!